Things I learned in college:

You cannot cut your tongue by licking the flat side of a knife.  (My parents LIED to me!  You know, I bet the Easter Bunny doesn't lay those candy-filled eggs, either!)

It doesn't matter if you can succinctly prove your argument in 4 pages - you are expect to bullshit another page in order to make the minimum limit.

Everyone seems to have a better roommate than you.

Super Smash Brothers is the pasttime/time waster/study aid/gambling forum/bet settler/drinking game of choice.  The only argument is whether to play it on N64 or Gamecube.

Packages are like Christmas.

Dating an old friend of a close floormate is WRONG and only leads to trouble and a pissed-off sexilee.

There are always politics and undercurrents going on.  The best you can hope for is a good toehold in the undercurrent.

Every other dorm has a member who plays guitar.  End of story.

In other news, I'm not recovering well from this scholastic week.  I think it has something to do with the fact that autumn is a flirtatious homewrecker who can't decide whether to stay or leave.  Also, I had a couple papers due in that broke my will to live.  I'm also ready for a nice road trip.  Any suggestions are welcome to be forwarded to my email account.  Winner will receive a digital hug.